Growing Up

Sometimes it feels like just yesterday that I got to meet this beautiful little girl who would completely change my life forever. Who made me realize what it was like to be completely selfless. Working 10-16 hour days just to provide for her and get very little sleep because the 5-6 hour window of sleep I could get would be interrupted every two hours by a little cry that I absolutely loved! They say when you become a parent, there is no greater love. I didn't understand that until Emily came into my life. Yes, I admit that I was elated when Emily started sleeping through the night, what parent doesn't?! But I miss the cuddles, the middle of the night feedings when it would just be her and I. How relaxing is it to just hold your baby and watch them eat and sleep? Nothing better! But now that she is almost 8 and has developed into an amazing little girl, I realize that these years are going far to quickly. Within the past week, Emily has had her first pimples (3 to be exact) and I had to buy her the very first training bras. I know, she is only 7!! I didn't think this would be going on so young. I mean, jeesh, I was 10 when I first started all of this stuff. Emily will always be my baby, but she isn't a baby any more. This breaks my heart. 11 more years and instead of buying pencil boxes and wide ruled paper, I will be buying her stuff for her dorm room. 11 years...that is it. UGH...why do they have to grow up? Being a mom is the greatest blessing I could ever have. Yes, I was a young mom, but it made me into the person I am today. I bypassed all of the poor decision making and got thrown into responsibility. I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters, one of which is not with me, but with her amazing parents in California. Oh how I miss her so much it hurts at times. And then there are times when I feel truly blessed to have her parents in my life. I know that she is well cared for and has the best life possible surrounded by a lot of people who love her. What more could a mother ask for? She has started school and even with her it feels like just yesterday I was holding her in my arms. (Might I add that I do believe she looks just like me!) I miss my kids being babies. I want to protect them from the world and keep them innocent. I want Emily to always want to cuddle and run to me when she is upset. I want to be able to always tickle her and hear that belly laugh. But, the reality of it all is, those things will disappear, she will hate me at times, and she will move away and create her own life. All I can do is help mold her into a beautiful woman inside and out and be here to listen. Being a parent is difficult!!!