New Glasses

Ms. Stubborn finally got her new glasses and is wearing them. Because she refused to wear them for almost a year, her lazy eye came back. Back to patching her right eye to strengthen her left eye.
 She wasn't happy about it, but now she knows the importance of wearing her glasses :-)

Tulip Festival

The girls and I had a much needed day away from the guys. We went to see my best friend and her husband and little one, had lunch together and then us girls ventured to the Woodburn Tulip Festival. I had never been but really wanted to check it out. Long line to get in, but totally worth it. They had fun stuff for the kids to do also.
We next headed into Salem and did some shopping at Target to get Fiona some supplies for outdoor school the following week.
It was an exhausting day but so much fun.

Just My Girl and I

This girl makes me laugh, gives me a reason to smile, keeps me going and is by far my greatest blessing in life. She is such a mommy's girl and I love it. It was her and I conquering the world for years before I met Greg. She was my buddy, my partner in crime. She has made me feel like I can tackle anything that is thrown at me. She made me strong when I felt weak and loved me when I felt unloveable. Amazing what such a tiny human can make you feel.
She turned 9 in December, 9 years old...I am halfway done raising her. How the heck did that happen?! It makes me so depressed. I don't want to ever be done raising her. As much as she drives me crazy sometimes, I cherish every minute of it. She is no longer a baby but becoming a young adult. I watch her become more independent and it makes me proud and sad.

Basketball

This year I was thrilled when Emily decided to play basketball! I am so proud of her. She goes to a different school than any of the other kids. She knows no one. And yet, she still chose to participate. I am trying not to be that parent that is always in their child's ear and telling them what to do or how to do it, but it is so difficult. Having played basketball myself for so many years, it is hard to just keep quiet. Greg suggested I just drop her off and leave during practices, but I can't do that. So, now I just walk the track that is above the court. That way I can watch and see can see me, but I can't just throw in my two cents!
She had her first game Saturday and did great. At the end of the video she accidentally knocks down her own teammate but stops playing to help her up! It was a proud moment!
She is the tallest one on her team, of course! I am just hoping she becomes less afraid of the ball as time goes on.

A Little Taste of Disneyland!

What a crazy week! This was my first time to Disneyland as well as Quinn and Emily's. We had so much fun, but man were we all exhausted afterwards! So much to do and see in such a little amount of time. The kids were so well behaved and everything went better than expected. I couldn't wait to get home but it was so sad to leave at the same time.
I planned ahead and had a town car pick us up and take us to the hotel from the hotel and then back to the airport on the day we left. We purchased shuttle passes for the days we went to Disneyland (so cheap!) And we had so many stores and such within walking distance of our hotel. I don't think I could have survived driving in that madness! Luckily, our hotel provided breakfast and dinner, so the only meal we had to worry about was lunch. Which, luckily our hotel room had a full kitchen, so we went and got groceries at Target that was 1 block from our hotel!
The kids utilized the outdoor pool at least 3 times a day, which the rashes all over them proved it! But they had to take advantage of the warm weather and pool as much as possible. It wasn't hot or cold...it was a perfect 80 degrees all 4 days we were there. Which, in return, made Oregon seem VERY cold when we returned!
I also discovered Italian Ice while down there! I am in love with those things...now if I could find them in Oregon, I would be a happy girl!
This was our first big vacation as a family. I never knew how much time and work went into planning a trip for 6. I think I was exhausted before we even left! But, I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

Family Pictures

Our family pictures for this year! I think they turned out great! We started this tradition last year and I am kind of liking it! The kids were just excited that I scheduled them for September and not November this year (it snowed the day after we had them done last year!)

Adoption Emails

Today I decided to go through my email account and check out old emails. I came across emails from friends, family and even managed to look through the adoption emails for the first time ever. I had saved them because I knew that I wasn't thinking straight and would one day want to look at them. Until today, I couldn't look at them. Almost 7 years later...crazy!
The first few emails consisted of all the paperwork and legal aspects that needed to be handled. The last 20 were me asking a million questions to our adoption worker. Which, to this day, Gabby was amazing! I even referred one of my friends to her when she decided to place a baby up for adoption. In my emails, you could tell that I was so scared and second guessing my decision. Gabby was so gracious and so very understanding. Reading the emails took me back to that year and made me think of what I would have done differently. First off, I wouldn't have been so scared to talk to Kara's parents! I wouldn't have thought that I was a horrible mother for giving my baby up. And I would have loved to spend more time with Kara's parents and not been wallowing in my own pity. Was it a difficult decision? The hardest ever. Do I wish that I had changed my mind about the adoption? Nope! I get to watch how happy she is through pictures and videos and know that I picked the best life for her. Do I miss her? With all of my heart!
I remember going to the clinic to get my proof of pregnancy for the adoption process to start (I was already 4 months along when I finally went in.) I remember telling the lady that I just needed the proof of pregnancy for the adoption agency. The lady, who was probably in her late 60s, started crying. I think I must have looked at her funny because she grabbed my hands and said that I was the most selfless person she had ever met. I thought then that she must have been a crazy lady! Now, I understand that she has to see so many woman go through there looking for proof of pregnancy for abortions or who are looking for handouts and keep having kids to live off of the state. As a mother, I knew I couldn't give my child what they deserved...I was a single mother to one and was struggling.
I remember going to all of my doctors appts and not saying anything about giving my baby up for adoption because I felt ashamed. Not because I was giving her up to give her a better life, but because I got pregnant and couldn't provide for my child. The doctor came in the morning of my delivery, sat down next to me, held my hand and asked why I hadn't told her. With tears in my eyes I just shook my head. Her eyes welled up and asked if I had really thought about my decision. I shook my head yes. She then said that I was a great mother and could raise this baby too. I shook my head no. I remember her standing up, kissing me on my head and said I was the bravest patient she had ever had. She walked out just as Kara's birth dad walked in.
Kara's birth dad had stated from the beginning that he didn't want to hold her because he would get attached. As soon as she was cleaned off, the nurse placed her in his arms. He was in shock. And out he walked her our daughter in his arms to place her in the bed and wheel her out to meet her parents. I laid there crying as they stitched me back up.
Kara's parents were so kind to let us have some alone time with her before they left the hospital as a family 2 days later. I got to feed her, change her and love her. Those moments are forever in my mind. I didn't want to let her go and was fighting myself.
The next few days are a blur but I remember looking at her pictures and how happy all 3 of them were. It brought me peace.
I am still at peace with my decision. I do not, nor will I ever, regret my decision. I have 2 beautiful daughters, one whom is not with me. Which, I must say, they are both gorgeous! Emily knows about Kara. I decided it was easier to be honest about it. She asks me the typical questions about why and when can she see her. She often asks to look at pictures of her. Funny, when Kara was born, she looked NOTHING like me. Now, I think she looks more like me than Emily does!
What is the point of this blog...I guess to help other people who have gone through this process or are going through it. I'm not going to sugar coat it and say it was easy by any means, but it was the best decision. I just lucked out and gave her to the best parents!